It was never love
by EmLikesToWrite
Summary: What will happen when Erin contemplates her relationship as she waits, causing her to evaluate the relationships of her loved ones? What decision will she make? Reviews appreciated. This is just a oneshot. Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Blue Bloods.


Erin Reagan sighed as she sat waiting at the restaurant table. She was waiting on her date, and she was seriously rethinking even agreeing to have met him. 22 years. That's how long it been since their daughter was born, that's how long it had been since he had started failing as a husband and a father, and that's how long it had been he started disappointing her. So, she would give him another chance; and another, and another and another. Jesus said to forgive 7x70 times, and well, Erin was fairly certain she was _well_ past that. It's not that she didn't forgive him; she did. But if he was still acting the same exact way over and over again, why did she keep giving him another chance? Sure, it was obvious that he was trying to change, but some people just never do. So here she was, waiting on him thirty minutes after the time they had agreed on for the date he practically begged for. Sure, it had been nice of him to tell her he was going to be late, but he hadn't even done that until it was time for their date. When he finally decided to show up, she knew exactly what she needed to do.

As soon as he got there, he made his way over to the table giving her a kiss on the forehead and handing her a bouquet of flowers.

"I'm so sorry I'm so late." He said apologetically taking his seat.

"It's fine. I understand work schedules." Erin told him understanding. Erin's mind was running wild. Flowers and a kiss? He really had seemed sorry… What could one more chance hurt? _No. Not today. He's hurt you too many times._ She thought to herself. With another sigh, she took her napkin of her lap and set it on the table before grabbing her purse.

"Actually, it's not fine." Erin began as she slid her chair back.

"You hurt me more then I ever thought a person possibly could. I used to see a potential future with you. Things changed though. I loved you, and I got nothing in return. I have forgiven you, know that, but I do not love you like that anymore. I'm not even sure you ever loved me. You never looked at me like Danny looked at Linda. You never got that look on your face or the twinkle in your eye like Jamie does when he talks about Eddie. We never had a song like my parents did." Erin took a breath before starting again, doing her best to keep her voice from escalating.

"While you do seem sorry, and you genuinely seemed worried when I got shot, that was the only time you showed emotion towards me getting hurt. You would have hardly been phased if what happened to Linda happened to me. You never would've rammed a car or attacked someone like Jamie did for Eddie." Erin took another deep breath, attempting to calm herself down.

"You never truly supported me like my parents did for each other. Whenever I look at the relationship Danny had with Linda, I want that. When I look at the relationship Jamie has with Eddie, I can't help but think of how stupid they're being for not taking it further. They have a better relationship then we ever did, and they aren't even dating. As for my parents? They were the best example of marriage I have ever seen. When I look at the relationships of my family, I see trust, honesty, communication, forgiveness, passion, worry, and so much more, because THAT is what love is. But us?" Erin stopped again to catch her breath.

"Er, come on, you've got to give me a chance. I am so-" He started to try defending himself, but Erin interrupted, shaking her head as she stood up.

"No. Don't. I know what you're going to say. I've forgiven you, I truly have. That doesn't change the fact that you broke my heart, and Nicky's over and over again though. I know you're trying, but I can't trust you enough to do this again. I don't care if you want to build a relationship with Nicky; in fact, I encourage it. But I'm done. We were never soulmates, you never loved me, it was never love. Goodbye Jack." By this point, Erin's voice had no emotion. She walked away, never looking back.


End file.
